Not content to kickstart their career on an album laden mostly with potential, the Glaswegians have banged out a celebratory LP with lyrics bearing surprising satire, wit, and unabashed romance. Call it Scotpop if you feel uncomfortable. I could erroneously throw Franz Ferdinand in with the recent dance-punk, freak-shit, whatever "scene." But I'm calling a spade a spade. If that sounds too hopelessly recent and uncool for the hipsters, I could go obtuse and say Franz Ferdinand revive the sounds of the John Cale-era Squeeze or the New York never-weres The Necessaries. Each song on their self-titled debut catwalk swaggered with sucked-in cheeks like Alex James' effortless bounce on Blur's "Girls & Boys". In their silk button-downs and slickly combed hair, the band mimicked the gauche decadence of Suede to such a point that it appeared they were wearing Anderson and Butler's hand-me-down menswear. The parallels were fluorescent: Franz and I were both stubbornly nostalgic for the decade-gone heights of Britpop. I've been looking for a way to work schnauzers and Magyar into a review. No, no, Franz Ferdinand was the perfect vehicle for a comeback. I looked up the aisle of the bus and spotted Ott hunched over a laptop, biting his tongue and copying studiously from a Thesaurus. Besides, you promised me the Franz Ferdinand review months ago." "I'm seeing the interpretive dancer Santa Schultz, the Revolutionary War soldier Ham Grass, advice columnist Professor Rok, Diapers the glam-loving lab monkey, Justin Davies the bass player of The Hold My Coat, The Bummelgörk, Kelly the Masseuse, Volodrag the Yugoslavian sycophant, Paul Bunyan, Wolfie. I'm seeing a comeback for one of your zany characters," Ryan said, making stupid TV-producer gestures with his hands. I've even done the I'm-not-going-to-do-a-concept-review-anymore concept review," I said. People love them and hate them," he said. I really want you to do one of your trademark concept reviews. "Ah, Jesus, man, I knew there was a catch," I sighed. Besides, I wanted to ask you to write a new review," he said. I just don't see why six years is an anniversary to celebrate," I said. Inside the box sat a green lapel pin shaped like the number six laid over Poseidon's trident. "I was going to wait to give this to you," he said.
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